Friday, July 9, 2010

The Fifth Circle of Dante's Hell was a Laundrymat!

Despite my claim that I would rather go to town in my pajamas than return to a laundrymat I ventured yet again into that cesspool of chemical detergents this morning. I do not know what is wrong with me. I knew this venture would be an emotional and physical challenge, yet that compulsive need to not leave hampers full of laundry sitting around was stronger than the voice in my head chanting, "No, bad idea, better not, just wait..."

So I drop KP off at preschool and drive on down to Ye, Old Laundrymat in Someplace, VA. upon arrival I note that the door has been propped open with one of those rolling laundry carts. What is this? This blatant disregard for the massive sign posted on the door stating, "LEAVE DOOR SHUT, AIR CONDITIONED." One step through the door and I understand, said air conditioner is not working.

I begin chucking laundry into the double loader a.k.a. money pit. Three loads in and I finally get a chance to sit back and relax. I pull out the Steven King paperback that I bought at the Goodwill Bookstore yesterday and realize I've already read the darn thing. I start to think that maybe the brain fog associated with my autoimmune disorders is a blessing in disguise. I can save a fortune by severing my ties with Doubleday Books and Amazon then just read the same books over and over.

Hearts in Atlantis is just not doing much for me - especially with the trickle of sweat dripping off of my temples and onto the pages. I abandon my laundry baskets to the masses sweltering in the laundrymat and return to my car in hopes of finding entertainment on the radio. Once there I was rewarded with inspirational lyrics such as... "You are my drug, you are my drug, you are my drug, my drug, my drug, my drug...' Please honey, I'm going to need some drugs by the time this song is over.

Later, I am back inside for the transfer from washer to dryer and someone has turned the T.V. to a sports channel. Imagine my joy as I listen to another arrogant, overpaid athlete wax eloquently about himself in the third person.

So I found myself watching the clothes spin round and round and thinking that, if laundrymats existed back in the 1300s, Dante Alighieri may have alluded to one as he described his fifth circle of hell.

I have to go now. I need to treat the second degree burn I received when I reached into a dryer ;-)

1 comment:

  1. Ah, the fifth circle of hell; the gurgling water of the river styx where the wrathful and stubborn can find no joy. How apt.

    Cindy and I used to have to go to this one particular laundromat that had the most fascinating signs in sharpie and construction paper due to their (ab)use of quotation marks. As in:

    * Not responsible for "lost" or "stolen" items. (I kept a weather eye on my stuff.)
    * Please do not leave "clothes" in the dryers. (Are they trying to defame my duds?)
    * Carts must "not" be taken out of the laundromat. (Umm, is that a yes, or a no? I usually took them halfway out. And left them there.)

    There were others that I so wish I could recall that ran the gamut from irony to condescension. I could never be sure if the sign maker was an idiot or a "genius".